Monday, February 16, 2009
Life- is unpredictable.
From highs of Love to lows of Insecurity and raindrops of Fear to sunshine of Excitement, a mysterious rainbow appears in our life and in no time disappears with indifference!
I always had a fear if that rainbow would never appear in my life; although it would vanish with none notice. As bright as the color of rainbow, I found my love dazzling by my side!
Dark and gray was his color- he said later on but now I wonder how it shone for me. That arrogance, our first debate and his rude comments was beginning of everything... That's when my rainfall started!
When he first stepped on my shoe in a club, instead of saying sorry he created an embarrassing situation for me. I cried for quite a while and left the club; how would I know he was drunk because he was in pain and all he was showing was that frustration?
A week later I went same club with same friends, saw him around and tried to get far from him though eyeing on his persona! I wound never want another humiliation. To my fear, I could see him coming towards me and I tried to avoid his eyes...
Those footsteps were actually targeting me. No time was left for me to hide or walk when he said:
"I'm really sorry for such a shameful act. My friend said what I did. I hope you understand I really mean sorry when I say it though I can't explain what went wrong with me."
Oh! It was time to respond.
"It's all right but hope you won't make anyone else suffer because you are in pain from now on."
"Was I rude then? May be I should not have advised him after-all guys hate being warned by an unknown girl or any girl." That was what I thought for few days. His thoughts were coming back and forth in my mind sometime with negative images and other while a positive one. With it, Friendship Day arrived and I went with my friend to celebrate as usual.
I was reprised to see the guy again whom I didn't know more than his voice! I should admit now that I had secret crush on him. My heart started pounding making a loud thud whenever he would make a move and it made me tempted to budge by his side. My heartbeat increased not only because of the bass of music also the reason was his nearness. By then we were compelled to get near to talk so that the voice would get clear in that loud music. Friendship day became a day when I got him by my side.
There was a hope for not only physical nearness in club but for the intimacy of heart and mind when he asked for my number. Would I mind? Never! That's when my sun shone; hopefully I was waiting for my colorful rainbow.
'Night hour: Happy hour' made it easier for us to communicate when the charge of calls was less than one rupee at night. Some Day he called me and the other day would be my turn. Those nights reveled the reason of his pain; a girl who dumped him baseless thinking that he was flirting with others as well. Here, he was so much in love with her that not a single girl could erase her space in his heart and mind.
Time flew away and with it those old memories as well. When you don't see something for long than it vanishes from mind like the name written in sand blown from wind. I was secure with him, as the previous girl was out of sight, out of mind. In those six months, I confessed my feelings and he was already falling for me. My life was up high in his love.
I was hoping for a snow that day, 14th February, like it had snowed last year making that day more special as it had already started raining. We had planned to meet at the same club where we had first met at daytime and go for dinner later on. With a huge smile on my face I was really excited to meet him as soon as possible.
When I was going there I was much worried and dismayed thinking that he was sitting being enraged with me, as I was behind schedule to arrive at the place. I was quite sure this day would strengthen our relation and also mark our first six months.
Opposite to my idea of his angry face he was very much energized and cheerful when I reached there. Although he had not seen me I was noticing him from the doorway. I saw him with a girl but was unable to see her face. Then I went near to them & to my astonishment I was dazed to see him with the girl who had previously broken his heart (I had known her from a picture in social networking site).
Few minutes ago I was dreaming of him with red rose & lots of love for me in his eyes but now what I saw was totally poles apart. Then I went to the table, which I had booked for us where I got a memo left by him in a piece of paper in his place. The message was:
"Just to say that I've got the one whom i was made for. I just want to end our relationship which you are much serious about coz, I've have just got... my love."
Tears fell of my eyes when I read that. I tried to look at him but I was unable to face him, for then I hated him. Those words turned me into pieces & the dream I had seen with him shattered away. My first love became a matter of disgust and this pain was intolerable for me. So, I returned back home with heavy heart and eyes full of tear.
When I was back home and standing on my balcony, far away I saw a rainbow and in no time vanished away like my own story. But still, the thing once he had liked, a golden chain was with me that I had packed for him to give him as a gift coz, it was "Valentine Day!"